Behind Closed Doors with a Girl
Question: Is it permissible for me to be alone with a namahram?
Being in a room alone with a member of the opposite gender is extremely dangerous in that it can easily lead to sin. One might think that he can control himself/herself, but in reality, when such an opportunity to sin presents itself it is hard for one to refrain from having impure thoughts, in the very least.
There are a couple of traditions where Satan is addressing some of the prophets and taunting them. He is explaining where he will attack. From the principle of “know thy enemy” these traditions are very important to a Muslim. Two instances of such traditions are: Iblis addressing Moses (a) states: “Do not meet with a unrelated woman in private because I will help one who does so.” This insinuates that he will help man commit sin. Iblis also addresses Noah (a) and states: “Whenever you meet with an unrelated woman in private remember me.” Again, this insinuates that one’s mind will gravitate towards sin if he is left in such a situation.
A question does remain, what happens if one wants to meet with a member of the opposite gender for an important purpose. For instance, if one wants to study, discuss religious issues, consult with each other, etc. In this case it is better to find a public place where the possibility of sin will not be present.
Lets look at the verdicts of some of the maraja’. On the frequently asked questions of Sayyid Khamenei‘s Farsi website, he states that if “a namahram man and woman are alone in a place where nobody else is and nobody else can enter, they must leave if they fear that they will fall into sin.” Verdicts from other maraja’ can be found on Ayatollah Hadavi Tehrani’s site IslamQuest: The question posed to the offices of the following maraja’ was: “My husband leaves town for work and I’m alone. Sometimes my brother-in-law comes to visit. Since it is forbidden to be in private with a nahmahram, should I open the door to him? Albeit, he is a religious person and fears sin.
Sayyid Sistani: This depends on one’s surety that he would not commit a sin.
Ayatollah Nuri Hamedani: There is no problem if there is no fear of committing a sin and it does not constitute being alone with a nahmahram.
Ayatollah Safi Gulpaygani: If it constitutes being alone with a nahmahram by the common understanding (‘urf) than it is impermissible. It is better to meet with nahmahram men when your husband is present.